physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
