we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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