So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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