The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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