I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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