I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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