I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
