i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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