I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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