i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
