Got a toothbrush?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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