yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She bit a glass in half.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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