worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
