I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
