You're completely useless in the revolution.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
