windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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