I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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