But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Non-Jews are for practice
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
