I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
