Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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