I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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