Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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