Christians are straight up FREAKS
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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