she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
