And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
