I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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