where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize