Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
