he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
