Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
