Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
