You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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