We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
