i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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