What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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