Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
