4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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