his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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