angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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