Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
