my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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