There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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