Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize