I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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