Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we made out on top of his cat.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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