dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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