# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
