His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
