I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
