Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
