So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize