playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
