I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
