I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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