Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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