Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
