You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
