If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
