I showed him my bush... on skype.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
