NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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