My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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