Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
