she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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